hair+cut

For a person with such gorgeous locks, I go to the hairdresser very infrequently. In fact, I have never had my hair cut without first being chastised by the stylist in question for being such a hair care delinquent. In the past I have attributed this delinquency to my incorrigible procrastination, or my need for delayed gratification, or even my desire to see a marked and dramatic difference in my golden tresses after I've forked over 80 dollars to have them slowly tortured by sharp blades. But today as I sat on the adjustable chair trying not to stare at myself in the mirror, I think I identified a deeper cause: I don't want to feel like I'm paying for sex.

Let me explain!

At my salon, not only do the stylists wash your hair with lovely Aveda products, they also treat you to an intense scalp massage. Really intense, like tantric acupuncture. Then they obviously continue to manhandle your hair and scalp for the duration of the appointment.  The stylist I had today was fantastic, really, but in order to be so fantastic she had to stand extremely close to me. At a few points during the process, she stood behind me and leaned over me so that her bosom was sheltering my head and her hands were holding my hair directly over my bosom. It was during the second such occurrence that I began to think, "wow, if I really needed to be touched and didn't want the stigma of hiring a possibly gay male escort, I would just get a haircut." 

There it is, folks, the real secret behind the success of the beauty and aesthetics industry. 

I know it's a shock, but just take a breath, and then maybe a shower, maybe give yourself a scalp massage while you're in there if you know what I mean and get over it.